originally written 1/8/2016
What is polyamory in my own terms?
Polyamory is the freedom to love many people on a completely honest level without shame or guilt. The dynamics change between each relationship and the partners involved.
The fantasy I have is myself in a polyamorous relationship with two other partners. There definitely needs to be at least one man involved, preferably two. It doesn’t matter how the three came together as long as everyone is equal. We would all live together but have separate bedrooms. That way we all had our own space to retreat to. Adelyn would live in the home of course, as well as any other children that came into the relationship. The children would be raised as siblings and every partner would have a responsibility towards all of them. I don’t want to give birth to any more babies but would welcome the other two partners bringing them in to the family. Everyone would either split the bills and housework or two would work and care for finances while the third took care of the household work. Except for laundry. Everyone can do their own fucking laundry, haha. Sundays would be the designated family day. None of the partners should work on Sundays and the primary focus would be on the unit as a whole. We would live a minimalistic lifestyle with very little clutter. I would want to have land for the kid(s) to run wild on and lots of animals running around. Travel would be a big priority so I could either do that individually or with the family. All major decisions would be made with every partner in agreement. Sex would come naturally depending on everyone’s schedules. Sometimes all three together or sometimes just a pair. Or maybe two going at while one watches. There would be lots of it. Lots. There wouldn’t be limits as to how many outside partners anyone could have. Or what kind of partner for that matter. However, there would be rules with every outside partner. 1.) Condoms must be worn 2.) Health screenings should be frequent for everyone involved 3.) No outside partners would come to the main home unless every partner agrees it would be fine. All in all, everything would be open, honest with lots of discussions. This is something I have been thinking about long before I came into the BDSM world and I haven’t really incorporated it yet.
Why do I want a polyamorous relationship?
It’s about transcending towards personal happiness. People tend to think of love as a solid emotion. To me, love is fluid and ever evolving. It changes in depth, shape and viscosity. There are so many different ways it can take form. So many different ways it can change a single person or different relationships. I don’t believe that as people, we are limited in the amount of love we have to give. I think that as we give love, our hearts fill up with even more. I don’t want to be limited in how many people I can love. There are so many people in this world that need it. If that means I run a higher risk of even more heartbreak, then so be it. It’s well worth the pain. I hold the act of being completely honest with first one’s own personal self and then with others in high regard. Polyamorous relationships greatly encourage this and their success is based on it. I have never been able to see myself as a wife. It wasn’t until this last summer that I realized it wasn’t marriage I didn’t fit into but the monogamy associated with most marriages. It makes no sense to me that a woman (or man) should search for her one and only and be limited to loving only that man (or woman) for the rest of the time they are together. Love is too great a thing to only be given to one person at a time. Society tells us that we are not complete until we find our “one true love” or our “soul mate” and settle down with that person. It says that we won’t ever feel good enough unless someone is in love with us. We need to change ourselves in order for someone to fall in love with us. We will never feel good enough. Bullshit. We destroy ourselves with that idea. We fall into depression when we feel alone or we try to ask our “one true love” to make us feel whole, when in turn we are destroying parts of them when they are unsuccessful. My renegade heart has rejected this notion. If I want to be in a relationship with a partner(s), it will be because I am being pushed on every level. And I want to push them also. Pushed towards growth. Not because they “make me feel complete”. I’m not broken. I’m not a puzzle with missing pieces.