I was really bummed when you told me that we weren’t going to stay the night together. I don’t want you to take it as a jealously issue though. I know that Zoe and you definitely needed that time together. I was bummed because it was something that we had planned and I was looking forward to it. I don’t take broken plans well when I’m super excited about them. Also, I was nervous about doing the humiliation scene and having to go home aloe. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after that and knowing that you wouldn’t be there to comfort me afterwards was hard. I had to talk myself out of saying that I didn’t want to do it. I was just really nervous about it.
I was nervous to come to dinner and meet new people. I really enjoyed Lily and Joy though. They were really funny and sweet. It was really easy to talk to Lily.
I enjoyed hearing the way Lily and Joy presented. It was interesting to hear how they formed a relationship and live day to day. I loved hearing everyone’s questions. I got to interact with people that I sort of met and your birthday party, as well as new faces. The older woman that we have been discussing (I can’t remember her name), when she first came to the table, her energy took me by surprise. It was very intense. We got into a good conversation about that but she is much more knowledgeable and experienced on that subject and I got kind of lost in the conversation. However, that sparked me to want to really look into and research these things.
*I’m wondering if you still have plans with her. And if you do, are you going to approach the subject of herpes?
I haven’t really had an opportunity to get to know her very well. I have some strong feelings about her though that kind of flip flop on me. I respect her decision to not let me into the home because of her daughter. I would want the same thing. I would not want some strange chick around my shit or my daughter’s things, nor would I want some strange coming up to the house randomly while my daughter was there and starting a bunch of drama. Totally get that. However, from what I have experienced, I don’t respect the way she treats you. I wonder if she is like that all the time. I like her but I also find her very rude and ungrateful. So…half the time I think that this is just a rough patch that she is having a hard time going through and that it will work itself out as time passes. And that I should just be my sweet self and let y’all work through this on your own….the other half of the time I want to tell you to kick her ass out and it’s really hard for me to keep my mouth shut about the subject when it is brought up. It is none of my business, nor does it have anything to do with me. I will not push you to do anything on this subject. You will figure out what you need to do, if anything at all and do it on your own. These are just my feelings.
I was so nervous about the humiliation scene. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want you to turn into this big scary guy who makes me feel like shit and then I’m sent home alone to lick my wounds. Fear.
But it wasn’t like that at all. Once I realized that you were still your normal goofy self, I relaxed a lot. I really fucking enjoyed myself. I think my favorite part was when you made me squirt all over Zoe’s face and I got to lick her clean. I also loved the pool. It makes really happy to see you so turned on. Afterwards, when we were all cuddling, I felt that amazing euphoric high.
I worry that Zoe didn’t get enough dick action though.
Zoe and I had a really awesome conversation while we were waiting for you. We really bonded and it was good to talk to each other about these new relationships we are forming.
It brings out some worries that I’ve had though. I have a general idea of what your vision is. I would love for you to talk to me about it some more. I want to know your dreams. I worry about it though. I’m scared that you want Zoe and I to fall in love on a romantic level. What if I can’t do that with her or any other woman? Or her with me? I’m still so amazed about you that I can’t think of anything more that a sister like relationship with her, with some sex and scenery thrown in there. Sub-sisters. Would you still want to be with me if I couldn’t fall in love with Zoe? I still wonder if you are real sometimes. Quite a bit actually. But what happens if she decides she no longer wants to be a slave? What would it look like if we all lived together? I’ve noticed that you tend to give me more physical attention when we are together and I wonder if it because this is all new or if it will continue like that. I know that I am absolutely magnetized to you and I have a hard time keeping my hands off you when I’m around you. I’ve never experienced this with anyone else before. I don’t want that to make her feel left out or unequal though.
Time will tell.