The Reason

Originally published on Fetlife on 4/19

How grateful I am to have fallen into the arms of the one I call Sir.
But before I tell you why, you must know the kind of person that I am.
I’m insatiable for life. I cannot drink enough of its sweet nectar or devour enough of its crisp fruit, even if it means swallowing a bee from time to time. I will never be full. Hunger burns through my veins and pushes me towards everything I love. When I drink, it is not for the purpose of satiation but for the experience of the drink itself. To feel and taste every complex flavor and texture on my tongue. I never want to be full, to be full is to be done and to be done is to be dead. Let’s take this whole metaphor a step further. I never want to limit myself on what kinds of fruit and nectar I am going to consume. I don’t want them from only one or a few select garden(s). The world is mine and I will take a taste of anything appetizing that I can get my hands on.
This goes for every aspect of my life. One major example that I can give you is my constant quest for knowledge. If there is a subject that I am interested in, I will hunt and search for every piece of information I can find on it. I want to take it all in, every little detail. I want to understand exactly what is happening and why. I want all the informed opinions anyone can give me. I want to know every new theory or take on it and compare it to what we know now. I want to see it from every angle. I want to always be seeking new information. That is the full experience for me.
Now knowing this about me, let me explain to you the reasons I am so damn grateful.
The only experiences I’ve had up until very recently with the entire BDSM community is whatever porn I could dig up. You know the “big red K”? That was my only view of kink. Hard, sexy men with big block letters tattooed around their forearm with an all black uniform tying thin, long haired women up and using all different kinds of implements on them until they were covered in any combination of sweat, lube, cum, tears and eyeliner. It turned me on, hell yeah it did. But that is just one very small aspect of BDSM. It never even occurred to me that I should look more into being a submissive because I didn’t realize how much of a lifestyle it was.
So when I randomly came across an ad on Craigslist from a local Dominant advertising orgasm torture, I jumped on that shit and replied. And an entire world opened up to me. It was a world that absolutely intrigued me and scared the fuck out of me. I still have never met that certain Dominant (who I’m not naming in case he doesn’t want others to know) face to face but he answered every question and concern I threw at him with as much knowledge as he possessed as well as gave me tools to help me better understand what I wanted out of being a submissive. He was the one who put me in contact with Mister Will: my Dominant, my Daddy, my Sadist, my love.
Just as in everything else in life, BDSM has dangerous aspects. You can fall in with inexperienced people and be harmed. Even if you do everything absolutely right, you can still be harmed. I think we can all agree that there’s a definite risk that needs to be considered before doing any kind of play. Here is my main reason that I am so absolutely grateful for the chance that Mister Will is my first Dominant: He’s experienced. Not only experienced but knowledgeable and always ready to learn more to be the best Dominant/Master he can be. He is passionate about seeking knowledge that will make him into the man he strives to be. He took an entire year to go through a training course for Dominants, that is pure dedication. He makes sure that I am prepared to enter into any new play with as much knowledge as I can find. If I have a question or concern, he answers it. If I have fear, he does everything he can to find the root of that fear and show it to me so that I can recognize it. He pushes me on every aspect and questions every limit. He gives me any aftercare I ask for without even a moment’s hesitation. He keeps me as safe as he can possibly manage without squashing my freedom. Through his leadership and Dominance, I have learned how the beauty of my submission transforms the rest of my life. I have learned that submission does not make me weak, but the strongest I’ve ever been. It would have been so easy for me to miss the chance of meeting him. So easy for me to meet someone who wasn’t as experienced and knowledgeable and would have given me a bad first taste of such an amazing world.
I am so grateful.

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